Sometimes when I stare at the mirror, I see what I’ve become… all the feelings and the things I’ve done; places I’ve been and people I’ve met who’ve left a mark somewhere in my regard.
Yet sometimes I fear of this I’ve become. A hollow; a deep hunger that scavenges on whatever faith is left.
Never looking back; speaking the heart at will; not knowing that will is sometimes the only thing it takes to hurt someone. Just simple thoughts betray me. I am the worst of me. No words, no silences, just not caring. Just playing the careless baby that closes his eyes when things aren’t what you’d like.
This starry night, I am as sorry as I can be. Not because of being an asshole with someone I cared about, but because I let down someone who tried really hard to put everything aside. By so doing it took guts, and a huge heart; I on the other hand, played the perfect bastard. I deserve to be shot blindfolded. I let one of my friends down.
I did what I felt. I said I’m sorry.
I was told a fraction of what I did. Now, if I said I am sorry for what I know I did, what I did not know I did left me worse.
I need to take some time to think about this. To think how much I do not deserve what I’ve had.
“I never let my friends down; yet, I let you down”.
You suck, you lying piece of shit. 🙂
…and you think you’re smart? Ha ha ha… right.