Recently in Memories Category

Somehow I'd forgotten the feeling of getting a brand new toy. The foam padding, the smell of the plastic bag, and all the surrounding act of unboxing.

But all the toys in the world don't mean anything if they remain static.

I don't know when my toys began to serve as tools of my craft.

Here's a shot from a recent project I have to do a multimedia piece on.



For some reason I don't feel like posting the rest of it online.

There are somethings that are just for me to take and assimilate.

This is not for ego or pride.

This is for me.

J

This is a long overdue post.

During the past months I've hand something to do (either directly or indirectly) with the following:

• Carcrash
• Hating insurance companies to death
• New car
• Stolen laptops
• Breaking and entering
• Waking up chez-moi, not knowing that the same day I'd move out
• Move for the 14th time in the last 5 years
• A phone call that started with the words "I did not give you my cell number to give you bad news"
• Carcrash - again... in a different car

It has been a complicated year, but there's hope for next year...

All and all, my life's far from being stuck.

I used to bitch about getting all this shit, and why someone else was not getting it. But oh well, I'm a grown-up now (...and that person is seemingly swapping fluids with someone s.t.d.-ful -- haha... so there's justice after all) .

And well, after teaching some programming workshops, promoting my career, and looking at a recent trip (paid by my uni), there's space to think about what's coming ahead... besides finals.

I developed some rolls a bit more than a month ago...

I tried Efke 25, Delta 400 pushed +1, and the regular Delta 100.

Less talky, more looky..... this is Efke 25:

It's super cool to shoot mid day at f1.4, but I don't shoot much at that time... I guess my thing is still 100 or 400.

That's about it for the Efke. Cool: yes. For me: naaaaaaaah... not really.

Maybe I just need to know how to develop it properly...

Anyway...

I also tried Delta 400 pushed to 800. It's the first time I use that, so I am learning how to develop it properly. IMHO it rocks.

Here are film scans from the previous DJ Ferh entry:

Delta 400+1: Rocks.

And now our traditional and beloved Delta 100. My personal fave 4-eva-and-eva.

This is what I loive about delta 100. You want blacks, you get blacks; you want highlights, there ya go. I'm not really sure why, but it just *clicks* for me.

I still have to develop the squary 120 delta 100. So far so good with 35mm, but my experience developing 120 is pretty much none. I used to shoot delta with a lovely Hasselblad back in the day, but oh well... damn third world economy!

It's been a long time since I last sat down and wrote properly. Well, sometimes you need something to actually get you going... pencil, paper, laptop... whatever.

Saw a movie recently My Blueberry Nights. Norah Jones' acting is not thaaat good, but there are some bits I loved from that film like the fact of how sometimes eventhough it's the right person, it's just not the right time.

It sort of reminded me of how you've got to fix yourself before you can be with someone else.

Been thinking a lot about certain phrases that define so much in so little:

Dan: You think love is simple. You think the heart is like a diagram.
Larry:  Have you ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist wrapped in blood

Since I saw that film in a cinema, I've loved it...  guess why I found out about Steve Pyke.

There are a million awesome things I've got to tell.. . awesome things...

...but tonight is not the night.

Hope life catches you well,

J

I've been busy lately... it's cooler to say you're quitting your job than actually doing it.

I mean... I could just walk away and not give a fuck, but that's not my style. I try to do things properly.

Even if people hate me... I like it when they hate me properly, not just plain old, mediocre hate...

...as I know that certain readers do.

But what are you going to do? This is the net, and I prefer to avoid any emo-kiddo or wannaby artsy fartsy pretentious self portrait with camera gear, or books... as if I were masturbating to the thought of being something I am not.

---this is all; what you see is what you get.

Pictures don't lie.

Unless Photoshopped... but that ain't happening here... I couldn't care less about modifying my frames for stuff other than tones and balance.

...as if I could remove in Photoshop someone's being an asshole...

As I told N the other day... I like to make frames of things that catch my eye... but some individuals will never be photographed (again) through my lens just because they are not worthy of it.


And so-fucking-what? My camera; my point of view.

This also brings to mind some other thoughts... like school and growing up.

There's only so much you can do on school, then you have to grow-the-fuck-up.

My limit is Master's Degree. Yes, like... I want to have theoretical expertise in a given field that I am truly interested in (Information Technology - I'm a computer guy according to my university degree). But the problem is not about getting perfect grades, it's actually what you do in the real world.

...and unless you are not doing real world research, if you are still in school, after university, you suck.

"I feel good in this comfort circle that harbors no responsibilities other than doing my homework, and teaching some undergrad kids" definitely does not count as Real World. Puhleeeeease... unless you can actually make it happen outside, then you are using up valuable resources like oxygen.

Anyway... I don't usee a blog to make you think I am a thinker, a philosopher, or someone who actually cares about making himself look interesting. My friends know who I am, and how much I would do for them.

But come on... this is too much bla bla and no photos. My photos.

On a side note, I think it's caring too much to put a copyright notice on each photo, but my good friend Nuno (who is a kick ass concert photographer) told me to always do that.


First, let's get digital out of the way:

My ex-roommate asked me to drop by his live presentation at Café Iguana.

He's an amazing DJ... and this was his night.

It's twice the fun to watch him wink you, just before he puts your favorite mixed song.

We both worked at the same company once... and just like that, life goes on:

Check out his site: http://www.myspace.com/djferh

He's also working as a producer with some other guy: http://www.myspace.com/loudroomrec

T'was a fun night...

Film already!!!

These are some old scans from a Portra160NC:

Reala 100. Do they even make that film anymore? In the lovely store where they scratch the film sans extra fee, they sell it... and it's dated, so I'm going with a "yes, they still make it".

drumrolls

Yes! A lovely brick wall. Please note coma, chromatic aberration, pincushion and vignetting.

Ha!

Gotcha!

Nah, just for the fun of it, here is a brick wall:

This one serves to illustrate two things:

1. Car accidents in Monterrey happen a-fucking-lot... most of the people drive like shit
2. If you batch scan color film with automatic dust and scratch removal, you might end up with shadows like those here shown:

...and now... a commercial break...

I like the rolleiflex, but working out the square neg is quite challenging for me.

I can't wait to see how my b/w homemade developing works with MF... so far with 35mm it's going fairly well.

Now, starting with some images from my first attempts to develop Tri-x myself:

I'm loving Xtol, and learning how not to mess up the Fixer (two practice rolls screwed, one good one screwed, but somewhat scanneable).

And all that mixing, pouring, and shaking produces this:

Delta 100 (Xtol 1:3)

Now Delta 400:

... and now Tmax 400 (Xtol 1:3):

I don't know why cameras are prohibited in super markets. Is it because someone may photograph their layout? You could write it on a notepad. Are you documenting what they have in stock... well... you can write it down as well.

Anyway...

I went to the movies with N, and as we got out of the car, I saw this man sitting in a bucket. I've seen him around since I first came to this cinemas, about six years ago. It took me all this time, and the experience I've built until now to approach and ask for a portrait.

I was very happy to see he was was willing to sit for a moment and let me make a few frames.

He told me that he looked after this car for a friend who owned it.

He asked for a print, which I will be making next weekend.

This was a reminder to never leave the camera at home, or somewhere else... you never know where you'll find something that makes you feel that rush pressing the shutter.

Finally...Trix 400 (Xtol 1:1):

And this is life as I saw it happen.

So this is in a way, me.

The me I want you to know...

...exactly how I want you to know it.

Hope life catches you well,

J

...So there were some reasons to go back to Mexico City...

I won't go into the strongest personal reason... none of your business whatsoever.

Some are just waiting to get back... others like me are just trying to move on.

It's weird how things work. I love home, I love the city, but I think I'm over it.

In Mexico, certain people from the countryside blog about this place, and rant about how awesome and great, and fucking special it is. I guess it is thaaat special when you grew up in a stinky town, and long to feel special in a place where you're not that unique. Anyway... I'll digress.


I still got a sweet spot for Mexico City deep within me. It's too bad I had to leave N temporarily, but well, she's tough and can kick anyone's ass without my help.

...So there was a photo-workshop...

Not any photo-workshop, but the meanest, baddest workshop in town: Foundry Photo Workshop.

Here's some name dropping if you're turned on by that:

• Kael Alford
• Paula Bronstein
• Andrea Bruce
• Renée C. Byer
• Guy Calaf
• Tewfic El-Sawy
• Stanley Greene
• Ron Haviv
• Eros Hoagland
• Hugo Infante
• Scott Mc Kiernan
• Michael Robinson Chavez
• Benjamin Rusnak
• Shaul Schwarz
• Stephanie Sinclair
• Khadir Van Lohuizen
• Holly Wilmeth
• Adam Wiseman
• Adriana Zebrauskas

Last, but not least... not teaching but helping veeeery much:

• Rodrigo Cruz
• Hugo Infante

I jumped between 3 classes: Multimedia Storytelling (Tewfic), Building a Reportage (Eros) and Photojournalist Bootcamp (Renee, Paula, Scott). It's too bad there were so many great photogs teaching at the same time.

Sort of reminded me of a little kid in a huge candy store, and only seconds to grab a few things before mom or dad calls.

And so a week passed by.

A somewhat strange week... with photographers from all over the world, lots of beer, avid desires to learn, to teach, to grow aware of what's around you, and introduce yourself to truly awesome guys... friendship in the air.

I did 3 things: Help translate, get access, and shoot.

Multimedia Storytelling

We headed to Sonora Market, to shoot traditional Mexican stuff.

Well, it's a market where you can find from toys, to herbal medicine, live animals, and healers. It was a bit daunting at first because I had not heard any good things from my father... he was a bit reluctant to let me go... but you know... I've been in worse places.

After trying to convince Lukcero Aghakán to let us take pictures, we looked around for someone else who would be willing to let us take photos and provide us with information about healers and the healing process. We actually never got to talk with Ms. Aghakán; one of her assistants made a point in saying that they had an arrangement with the big-evil Mexican TV network Televisa.

It sucked... I mean... traditional healers with their exclusivity contract with a tv station. Pleaseee...

After wandering around the market for some time, we spoke with Angel Guarda who was truly amazing. He explained the healing process, and was quite friendly when it came to share experiences and take pictures. Angel, you rock!

So here is what I did in the end...

It's not much but I liked the result:

...and well... being in Mexico City, I could not neglect my long time friends Betty and David.

Time was short, but we had fun. David showed us his latest creations and well, Betty smiled.

We went to El Hijo del Cuervo to have a couple of beers and just talk about everything we have always done.

The next day was calm. During the morning I attended the Building a Reportage lecture, and discussed some cool things about coherence of the story, and closeness (image-wise).

But since I had my wheels, I told Matt we could drive downtown and just walk and shoot pictures.

He's funny, and an awesome photographer. Check out MJR. N O W ! ! !

Also met Mustafah from MJR. He did a hardcore project about crime in Mexico City. He had awesome shots as well.

Mustafah was sitting down half awake, half asleep in a couch, so I approached and said:

J: Rough night?

M: Man, last night I was in a police raid and so sooo many firearms... like I'd never seen before. And it was hardcore... safeties off and just ready to shoot.

J: I don't think those guns had any safeties.

M: What do you mean?

J: Safety devices are considered "extra" in here... y'know... guns with safeties cost more, and well...

It was cool he did not get hurt, or shot. A police raid in Tepito... that's harcdore.

PJ Bootcamp.


This seemed like an interesting class, and since I was free, and not shooting, I thought I might as well go in.

So I opened the door and everyone went quiet and looked at me.

Typical "oh shit" moment.

M: Is this PJ Bootcamp?

Scott: Yes.


M: Can I stay? I'm interested to hear what you have to say.

Scott: Yeah, grab a chair.

And they kept reviewing people's projects, and I just felt infatuated with this class. It was about three teachers with incredibly trained eyes for photography telling you how to build a small story with images... and you brought them your photos straight from the camera and they would tell you what worked, and what sucked.

To have the three guys discussing out-loud about what photos were cool and which ones weren't - priceless.

So it was Thursday morning... Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday went by quickly (as when you have lots of fun), and Thursday morning I met Tewfic, Chris, and Adam at the Mother's Monument, where people were protesting naked.

Peasants and fishermen from the Mexican state Veracruz were removed from their lands. Eventually, the local government seized these lands without providing the original owners any type of restitution. Since the local government was not opening any channel for communication, the peasants and fishermen brought their families to Mexico City to obtain an answer to their situation.

Their marching and dancing naked is a symbol of the fact that without lands they do not have anything; not even clothes.

This is one of the first times I've photographed public manifestations up close and personal.

I met a really cool guy called Pedro who guided me around. He had a cool sense of humour... which made me wonder how much humour I'd have if I were protesting against the government.

Well... never mind.

So Thursday Morning I met with the Multimedia Storytelling guys, and shot this. Later during the PJ Bootcamp class, I decided I wanted this to be my project (originally it was supposed to be low-level cantinas, but the window for that project was killer for waking up early for class).

I did not like any of the pictures I took in the morning.

It felt good to see the whole material on the big screens. The colors sucked, but the atmosphere in the auditorium was cool.

My favorite panel was the one with Stanley, Khadir, Scott, and David (from NatGeo), and the discussion about the future of photojournalism.

And that was it for Foundry 2008.

I spent the rest of the time with my family, and was quite happy about it.

Too bad couldn't go out to dinner the three of us, but well... there will be other times.

Better times, hopefully.

Mexico City's airport has seen me many times in these past years. With lots of luggage, with only a backpack and a camera, exhausted from intercontinental flights, but this time was weird. I had this strange satisfaction you only have when things go perfectly sweet, and there's no way someone on Earth can take that from you.

... a small realization, maybe.

They sky on my way back just gave me a pretty good image to close this chapter down... youth, dreams, and good times... here and far.

Hope life catches you well.

J

Funny how the weather works in this place.

Average day

You wake up and remember to go buy a fuse for parking lights of your car. Phone the dealer, and drive over to pay the dollar it costs. Get back home, and watch TV. Then there's this weird sound... like really strong wind passing through the apartment. You get up and the blue sky is no longer there - all is gray and foggy... and smells like dust. I guess that's the way Apocalypse begins.

Dust storm in Monterrey - 10.30


And then it stopped for a moment, and it was sort of pretty

well, sometimes monterrey is not that bad

As usual, I had to leave Monterrey in a rush. I guess if it was all careful planned it just wouldn't feel right. I am working on changing that.

This will be a photoblog-esque entry; I shot a couple of things today, and found some others in a CF card.

My room. Well, "my room". Love the frame created by the entering light.

I guess it is sad to switch apartments yet once again. Life goes on.

Among the photos I found, some belong to a series I did with Pablo. We had planned to walk around the city, shooting street. Due to some problems, we went out after the sun had come down. It was sad to waste a perfect overcast day to shoot street, but I amused myself just fine.

We drove up a hill where the largest Mexican flag in Monterrey is placed.

I don't recall being here at night.

Since I did not bring any fast glass, I had to use hiiiiigh ISO, which is not that nice.

Many 15 year-old girls come here when they are about to celebrate their "presentation into society" party. I have said a lot of shit about that, so I won't go any further. At first I thought the dress had some kind of lamp (which would not surprise me at all, knowing the amazing tacky tastes some people have), but she stood over one of the lamps that point at the flag.

Pablo made a comment relating City Love and this scene. We both captured this couple while they talked. It sort of made me think how much I complained when I was 18, and how different things are now. Had to make it BW... wish it was film instead, but well... you have to make the most out of the equipment at hand.

This is Pablo after parking the car. Most of Barrio Antiguo (old Quarter) is lighted using these orange lamps. I remember how much we hesitated about leaving the car there... but well... we just parked and left.

This is a Christmas tree installed on the Macroplaza. It had an amazing pink glow.

I liked this one. Somehow the mom and baby make me wonder what were the words they were crossing.

I waited for Pablo to take his eyes off the viewfinder and as soon as he looked to me, I pressed the shutter.

I think this was just after this one .

Just after looking at the tree, we decided to move towards the Municipal Palace.

I hadn't been here in ages. The palace is now a museum and it's free (something new for me in Monterrey). It's worth the visit if you happen to be nearby.

The outside.

The inside w/ Pablo's head.

We later ate some tacos. Well, not just "some", but El Gauchito's - the best tacos in Monterrey IMO.

The next day I got into a bus and left.

Here is the last photo: Mexican desert. Kilometers of nothing.

Every time I get on a bus I have just enough time to think about life and times.

12 hours? That gives you just enough time to think a thing or two.

Hope life catches you well...

Just an average day in Mexico City. Lots of things to do, and well, nothing to do really.

It's my first amazing futureless and unemployed vacation.

Some call it their personal hell, I prefer the term "freedom". Try not to picture Bush waving a Republican flag. Feeling sick from all that media overdose. Burn your TV down.

What-fucking-ever.

So I woke up.

First day I have some decent sleep. My bed at my parents' is pretty fucked up. Slept there for more than a decade and a half, so I guess it was about time it gave up on me. I had to get an old exercising mat and place it under the mattress.

Simple breakfast - two-year-old cereal samples. Old, hardened, and tasting funny.

Note to self: Do small shopping with parents when coming over.

Went to pick up my electric razor. It's not cool to hear an old repair guy saying "those modern trimmers are complicated" when you need your trimmers serviced. Fuck that. I'd rather take it downtown for some good fixing. You can find everything downtown Mexico City... that's one of the advantages to be in the largest city on Earth. Getting to the repair shop is an adventure itself. Downtown's fucking huge. I'll get there later...

So I wanted to see N today.

Crossed Mexico City from South to North. Got to N's, and realized how much I've missed her. Just a smile everything is just fine.

Sbarro is awesome. Sbarro with N is even better. I drove a loooong way in Seattle to bring N Sbarro food to the airport, and we had Sbarro in NYC near Times Sq. when we were starving after the loong walk from the Financial District, to Times Sq. We have a small story with Sbarro. Well, there is only one place N knows where we prefer pizza. It's just by the place that's "our" place. Pizza and a sunset by the beach. Will not elaborate any further.

So we went downtown Mexico City.

The "Cleansing" of the soul.

Met with AP and Collín in the metro station. Got down at the Fine Arts Palace, which is always quite a sight. Took some snaps at passers by and really liked them. Should get N a decent camera one day. Well, hers is decent, it's just old. Anyhow... I can shoot with Nikon Pro glass and get a fucking great photo, or shoot a simple PS and still get a good shot, so don't bitch about pixels when I post them (are you expecting an f1.4 in N's camera? Seriously, fuck off).

The Cathedral
A Police Officer

We saw the huge skating rink in front of the National Palace. How smart is that? I mean... use shitloads of energy to keep that shit cold, in Mexican open air weather. Brilliant! Instead of actually working to make this a better country through work or proper economic development (as Garch - the most brilliant economist I've met - would probably insist), we make the crowd happy with this shit. When native, homeless people with 3 children and no shoes come begging for change, smile and point at the skating rink if you please.

The skating rink

Note to self: Before ice-skating in Mexico City's downtown skating rink, think what these skates smell like.

Walked to a drums store that was unable to be reached, so as plan B, we went for churros. Churros with N, AP, and Collín are quite a laugh. Fun times.

Had to say goodbye to N and her friends. Had an awesome day. Kind of playing tourist in my town.

Went back to my parents, and saw my father falling asleep on the couch. One of those moments I will never forget. A man I have looked up to since being a small kid. All, in a really human moment. Someone who taught me to think.

So I want to sleep.

Lifeless, fucked up people unable to get over the past, others craving for attention saying they are paranoid when they have no fucking clue about actually being paranoid, an ex that tries so hard to tempt the person who's over her, cruises over the Atlantic, or gays behaving like 14-yr-old princesses... let's see what life brings next. Right now, I'm just walking with an open mind, beating heart, and love by my side (which feels weird, FYI).

Like she wrote on the wall:

"Wings set on the back and soil-stained feet."

Hope life catches you well.

J

p.d. The title comes after watching Sigur Rós live with Jools Holland. Wonderful.

So I get to the student centre just in time for one of the last activities for the graduation process.

They checked my social service hours, the missing paperwork, and made me sign my diploma (a fancy piece of paper with a mugshot of yours truly that says what I studied, and the place where I studied).

While I was sitting, waiting for my  turn, an old man came and sat besides me. He seemed to be one of those old guys who like to start conversations anywhere with anyone, so he just said "40 years late". I turn around, see him and reply, "It is a while". He then proceeds to tell me that after 39 and a half years, he's finally graduating.

I tell him "well, look at the bright side... you've got all the experience you need... even more than all the guys who are graduating". He laughs and says "I'm already retired". 

I leave my house late... (It's my N's bday, what do you expect?) and hop into a cab. I'm late for class and I don't think an absence will be good for my final evaluation.

As soon as I get into the cab the cabbie asks me in English "where are you from" in a heavy Mexican accent. I look at him and reply in Spanish that I am from here... I am not blonde enough to pass for a "gringo" or "americano". He smiles and says he's practicing his English for the Forum that will take place shortly.

I comment on how interesting it will be to see the Americans during our REAL national celebration (Sept 15-16, not may 5th, dork).

He asks me if I know what happened May 5th. I smile and say "the Battle of Puebla". He then asks me who directed the Mexican army that day. I reply

"Ignacio Zaragoza, the letter he sent to annouce Mexican victory said 'The National Arms have been covered in glory.'"

and the taxi driver smiles back.

He starts to tell me how general Zaragoza studied in a French military academy, and how the president took pride for his general's victory. He elaborated on war context and some of the consequences. All that in the 5 minutes it takes to get from my apartment to the uni.

I pay the 10 pesos the ride costs and wish him a good day, and leave the cab. After wondering about the brief history lesson in a taxi cab, I walk to class.

Abu Adnan says:
I know dude.....
*malvenko - ॐ - novembre says:
creo q somos all the fucked up things we've been grown... el chiste es overcoming all that shit to be the best we can be out of the worst we actually are