Recently in Thoughts / Rants Category

Every new place to call home must one day be just a set of empty walls. No warmth, no welcoming feeling - just walls that silently hold every moment you and those before you lived.

The transition from stranger to local is something I've always aspired to - I do not wish to become a local completely,for whatever we bring with us would be lost, but instead be a camouflaged local.

To understand the culture, acquire that which will make you a better person (not only knowledge or experience), blend in with the locals with the respect and tact they have, that is what I truly aspire to. This applies to everything I do and everywhere I am.

I don't wish to be seen a stranger photographing a remote land - I'd rather be considered only a "someone else".

Take one step at a time.



Hope life catches you well,

J

Every photograph is a slice of an instant.

Moments you live... some you remember, some you don't.

We're only witnesses.

What I can photograph is only as true as the instant passing before me.

As a witness, I don't call myself a photographer - doubt I will ever do.

The term photographer contains a certain meaning I can only aspire to - this is a lifelong pursuit of images; I am constantly learning what I like.

This is one of my favorite frames lately.

As much as I can philosophize on the blurryness of the memory and the instant, I missed this shot and I won't pretend otherwise.



Hope life catches you well,

J

I shot a night procession in Monterrey two days ago.

Images and thoughts are in my new site: http://blog.daedalum.net

Since it had been a while since I actually did some sort of reportage, it was very refreshing to try and capture the event and the mood through images. Sort of like bike riding - you never quite forget how to do it. I used two cameras, a digital body with 2 lenses, and the good ol' m6 with the 35lux and Delta 400 pushed + 2.

Once I got home, I emptied the card on the computer, did selects, slight editing (contrast / bw conversion / no heavy post or cropping), and uploaded my faves here.

I had a chance to soup the film today, and take it to a big store where the photo manager helps me out scanning and cutting my souped negs - after an hour I was back at home doing selects and edits of the film shots.

From the film shots, here's my favorite:



Actually I really liked this frame.

I thought of including it on the Daedalum reportage, but it doesn't feel right - I am definitely not including it there.

Eventhough it covers the same event, for me it conveys a different feeling... a bit more moody, definitely darker, and somewhat closer and more personal (yes, I know - chopped feet - apparently today's special).

Would you mix this frame with the digital photos?

What do you think? Do you think it conveys the same feelings that the digital frames?

Let me know what you think...

J

Late at night and I am here typing away some thoughts.

Scrolling down to the last visible entries I could see, I realized it's been over a year since I wrote all those things.

I guess the hard part is to keep certain devils at bay, and align thoughts and strategy to pursue desires.

I'm thinking "nothing" never felt better.

Here's a shot from last November:



I'm still unsure what's more my style... Tri-X looks lovely here and there, but I feel I've got a lot more experience developing Delta 400 at home. The developer? X-tol ALWAYS - that will not change in the foreseeable future.

Recently acquired some fine tanks to develop even more film at home - I already had one, but it was a really crappy one. German camera, German glass, German developing tank.... I think there's a nice trend there. Onto less gear talk... there are several forums for that... I'll digress.

Cheers from the land where time flies so fast you can't change fast enough to keep up with it.

Hope life catches you well.

J

Life as it happens.

As it brings joys and tears. As it gives you all, then nothing.

I drove a bit across the border looking for something that's been missing for a while.

Not inly did I find it, but I had an awesome time while at it. Small details of things that will soon be long forgotten.

The temporal void where I am makes me think of photography not only as a hobby, but as work. For good or evil the lovely L-word engraved on the camera can only be considered serious if the client (or studio owner) knows about photography.

In any case, time will tell.

Open doors, or doors to open.



Hope life catches you well...

J

Homeward bound... this cold and distant city breathes and carries on... and so do I.

I keep thinking about how unimpressed I am at what I am doing in my life these days; grasping all my hopes on the bigger picture, and the change from this apparent stalemate where I stand right now.

But it's all good somehow.

It's still me.

The next months will be awesome. There's this ticking growing louder in my head.

On my mind... a somewhat old, overexposed frame.


An ordinary rear-view mirror; as poetic and symbolic as it can be.

Hope life catches you well,

J

I haven't been hiding; I'm just way too busy.

Busy with my musings.
Busy playing the consultant job for a while at PwC.
Busy admiring the delicate balance of everything around me.
Busy thinking about her.
Busy enjoying awesome news.

I upgraded the blogging engine at last. Jumping through hoops, trashing database copies several times, and just screwing up big time with a server migration has not been an easy task.

It's been enlightening, though.

Sometimes you need to leave the camera to the side and see the world; see it before you can think about framing it.

I'll be back soon with images; for now, it's a time to delve deep into what makes me move.

Hope life catches you well,

*m

nothing beats the feeling of staying at your in-laws' with your significant other...

...with all four in-laws being happy about it.

that's loving parents.

nothing to hide.

nothing to rush.

no need for signed paperwork.

no need for social approval.

no need to stand in front of an audience as if we were a fucking show... saying out loud words copied over and over and over.

...nothing against that, though...

breathtaking... this is life.

no books, no pretensions, no name dropping to show yourself.

... this is who you are.

no armor.

Now that 2008 has passed us by, here are some thoughts about it.

Worst band of 2008: Coldplay

I liked Coldplay. I really did. I liked them enough to grab a plane and see them live at Madison Sq Garden. I still think Spies is their best song... ever. But somehow it had been spiraling downward since the second album came out.

I tried too hard to not complain about the second and third album, but after Violet Hill I threw the towel. I felt seriously disappointed. It's like you're dating someone who you felt infatuated with. Yeah, the first flush was awesome, but then somehow you realize (s)he's really stupid. And you keep saying to yourself how this may just be a bad streak... over and over and over. Until they publicly do something that embarrasses you so hard that you realize how it's been shitty all along.

And the last album... please... just take a look at the cover. They claim to have been inspired by Frida Khalo (suuuucks) and people throwing out the status quo. Guuuys, last time I heard, in the painting La liberté guidant le peuple, Eugène Delacroix depicts people being guided by FREEDOM, commemorating the French revolution of 1830. So... why the *fuck*is it cool to "vandalize" a painting that represents what they heartedly support? I don't get it. It'd be better to paint over something that represents the old regime, or something they hate, otherwise it's like a rebel without a cause... like a 10 yr old boy saying "no" to all.


Eugène Delacroix - La liberté guidant le peuple
Source: Wikipedia

Band that pushed it too hard to be pop and now they're public figures instead of people focused on music: Bajofondo Tango Club.

The first time I heard BFTC, a friend and I were talking about how cool Gotan Project was, then he gave me a cd and insisted I should hear it.

After listening to the cd a few times I really liked it. The style was so fresh that I read about the band, origins, and influences. Since I've been a fan of Gustavo Santaolalla is one of my favorite artists for soundtracks as well as Eric Sierra, I kept reading and listening.

And so the Bajofondo story went on... i kept on listening, and then bought the Bajofondo Remixed cd... lots of stuff from Luciano Supervielle

...and then came Mar Dulce. It's a different concept from the previous cd, but well, an inevitable change, nevertheless. Lots of collaborations.... to the point that some people i've spoken with, believe that Gustavo Cerati is a member of BFTC.

And that sucks.

Best new band (well, new for me): Editors

Yes, yes, yes yes. Would undoubtedly see them live.

I prefer them over Interpol. Great drummer, and an overall feeling that reminds me of bleak, gray skies, and decaying urban landscapes.

Best new thing I can't live without:TV Series

My personal favorites:

• The Big Bang Theory: Even before it debuted here I wanted to see that. After the first episode, I was hooked.
• Project Runway: Can't think about seeing it without N. She's got an amazing taste.
• Family Guy: Evidently.

There are others, but well, it's a short list anyway. Honorable mention to Samantha Who, My Boys, and Eli Stone.

Best 2008 event: Foundry Photojournalist Workshop - Mexico City

I had never been in a formal photo workshop... and well... it rocked big time.

Awesome teachers, awesome friends, and got to meet some of the guys of MJR.

Best new tool in 2008: Shared between the m6, the rolleinars and the lenovo s10

Cameras and computers.... my tools.

Worst person during 2008: hahaha. sooo many.

Yeah, well... go figure

Worst 2008 drivers: Monterrey drivers

There's this little thing called BRAKES!!!

Worst 2008 roadtrip: McAllen - N, Jules and Luis

According to what I heard, undoubtedly... the worst.

Best artsy fartsy thing in 2008: Participating in Antony Gormley's Allotment

Contemporary art at its best. And with someone who proposes something rather interesting. Funny thing: he did not care about Tec... when the wifey called he said something like "yeah, i'm in a university of some sort... don't know really".

Try swallow your shitty ego for once, ITESM!!!

There are many other things, but I'm too lazy to think tonight.

Hope life catches you well.

J

Another year, another place



I'm sick of Monterrey, and these last months are finally over.

I should have left a year ago, but well... I had all this time to find myself an inspiration; mine is to never get stuck there.

So yes, I'm back home in good ol' Mexico City,



















i've got this thing going on where my patience is super short, and my temper is very explosive. do or say something that pisses me off, and you'll hear a not-so-nice version of me.

no fucking kidding.

now, the funny part is that I don't like Mexico City anymore.

too many cars, too many people, and this air of being a huge cage.

i'm not going to rant about assholes who think that visiting Mexico City is so chick and a sort of statement. Please...

look how far you've arrived by now.

all on daddy's expense.

yeah... my father paid for my college as well, but where I'm heading in a couple of weeks, you can't buy your way in.

you have to earn that yourself.

i've lived this year totally independent from my folks. independent on a scholarship salary totally sucks. but it teaches you one thing: you have to make it; no plan B and no calling dad.

i'm even thinking about taking less photos; I'm getting to this point where much of the things I've done seem to take an awful lot of time and energy...

this is a "back to basics" type thing... that's why 95% of the photos i've taken lately are made on an m6 and a single 35mm lens.

film shot with said m6:

portra 160VC


i'm amazed at how certain people you don't expect become very close friends. The one thing I will surely miss from Monterrey, are N's friends... and the fact that by the end, a lot of them had become mutual friends.

It's even better when you realize they're geniuses in their own ways... and none of them are pretentious... even though most could lecture me on their specialties.

(and those who seem pretentious at first, well, they have the means to actually be)

I am seeing a sort of pattern here... go somewhere, make friends, and then leave.

...as if I was creating future nostalgia.

and right now i've got this feeling of saudade thinking of all the worthy people i've met and left eventually. thankfully all those who are worthy of a true friendship still remain in contact. no pretending, no convenience... truth and honesty when i ask them what's up with their lives.



































BW

Delta 400 - 120









delta 400 - 35mm






"What I want is the world to remember the problems and the people I photograph. What I want is to create a discussion about what is happening around the world and to provoke some debate with these pictures. Nothing more than this. I don't want people to look at them and appreciate the light and the palate of tones. I want them to look inside and see what the pictures represent, and the kind of people I photograph."

- Sebastiao Salgado (Excerpts from an interview with Sebastiao Salgado by Ken Lassiter, Photographer's Forum)


for some weird reason, about a three weeks before we left, there was a huge festival where people drew famous paintings near the central plaza... right on the floor. you grabbed some chalks and did it.
















not being in monterrey means no jumps across the border to pick up stuff from my mailbox, or going over with friends to pick someone's stuff up... like this-that mcallen visit with luis g., jules, and n.

yeah, like 2 hour wait to cross the border, but well, that's how life is.

then drive back through god-awful-reynosa and then back home... all in one day.















...and that was it. i still have many rolls to develop, but a pro-lab will certainly help me out with those... which means more time to read, write, and learn how to do what i'll get paid to do.

N and i chose what to do next. not just what i wanted or what she wanted... what both of us wanted. i don't think i could do that with anyone else... there's something magical about everything working out perfectly in every way. timing, parents, and decisions.

i guess there'll be a lifetime to keep that working.

hope life catches you well.

J